The Art of Apology
Meaningful apologies are the strings that mend and strengthen your relationship. They aren’t just words; they’re bridges to understanding, growth, and the restoration of trust between you and your partner.
1) Accepting Responsibility
What is it?
Taking ownership and holding yourself accountable for your mistakes. Instead of making excuses or shifting blame, take responsibility for your actions or behaviour.
Recognize that you’ve done something wrong and express remorse for your actions with an apology. It may be basic, but many find it hard to say the words “I’m sorry” and let their pride get in the way. You can start by saying “I’m sorry”.
Don’t ever…
… apologise if you’re not sure where exactly you went wrong. I’m sure we’ve all seen this before – an outburst of regret apologising for something followed by a look of bewilderment when asked what exactly the apology was for, further followed by an emotional explosion of global proportions.
3) Genuine Repentance
What is it?
First think hard. If nothing comes up, bite the bullet and ask what went wrong. Your partner can either be mature about it and point out exactly what the issue was or stomp off like a child because their partner (you) wasn’t a mind-reader.
It’s the sincerity that counts, and the effort that goes into ensuring that the same mistake does not happen in the future. There’s no point apologising and then repeating the same mistake the minute your back is turned.
Making restitution and asking forgiveness
What is it?
It is all about asking for reconciliation and asking for forgiveness from the person they hurt. Requesting forgiveness shows that you respect their feelings and that you care about making amends. It also shows vulnerability because your partner may not be ready to forgive you right away.
May be used if something was misplaced or broken. It is all about action, a simple “sorry” is not enough. If they see that you’re willing to do something to make things right, they can tell you’re being sincere. You can start by asking “What can I do to make things right?”
Benefits of apologies
- Healthier communication
- Instils Humility
- Resolves Conflict
- Builds Empathy
- Shows Respect and Value
